who came to the rescue?
Thousands of people vented their anger about Stephen Fowler online and offline. Did anyone come to their rescue? No?
Wait, I found two:
1. a self proclaimed psychic from San Francisco (Hollis Polk). She seems to be friends with the Fowler's as she claims to have been at the viewing party at their house. You might wonder why she as a psychic did not foresee the outcome of this? Either she was able to see the outcome and choose not to tell them (bad friend!), or she had no clue (bad psychic).
2. a blogger called "Damo Kawasaki" who described Stephens abusive comments as "injudicious comments made by Stephen under duress" and he basically calls the wife swap editors "ratings-whores". He conveniently overlooked that you have to be an "attention-whore" to participate in that show to begin with. (I exclude all the fine people who do it for the money). Damo defended Stephen for several days unsuccessfully and gave up after Renee made a announcement she is was/is appalled by her husband's behavior.
Unfortunately for them Renee issued a statement on Tuesday where she said that, and I quote her, "I too am utterly appalled by my husband's behavior during the swap" and "I have asked him to get professional help."
We don't know whether she really said it, it's all hearsay of course. However, her friend Hollis Polk has removed all of her posts about this mess on her blog. This came around a time when a self proclaimed *friend* of the Fowler's made posts that the guests at the viewing party were as shocked as everyone else after watching the show.
Friend Hollis Polk not only defended Stephen for the last few days but she also wrote on her blog that the party was a fun event. Her statement contradicts this other guest and strangely enough she has deleted all her own posts about this. I guess she was instructed by Stephen to do so, so that he can start the counter attack.
This sounds very much like damage control by the Fowlers to me. After 4 days of not a single positive post about all of this the excusers are starting to appear. It is safe to assume that all of them are associated with the Fowlers.
Wait, I found two:
1. a self proclaimed psychic from San Francisco (Hollis Polk). She seems to be friends with the Fowler's as she claims to have been at the viewing party at their house. You might wonder why she as a psychic did not foresee the outcome of this? Either she was able to see the outcome and choose not to tell them (bad friend!), or she had no clue (bad psychic).
2. a blogger called "Damo Kawasaki" who described Stephens abusive comments as "injudicious comments made by Stephen under duress" and he basically calls the wife swap editors "ratings-whores". He conveniently overlooked that you have to be an "attention-whore" to participate in that show to begin with. (I exclude all the fine people who do it for the money). Damo defended Stephen for several days unsuccessfully and gave up after Renee made a announcement she is was/is appalled by her husband's behavior.
Unfortunately for them Renee issued a statement on Tuesday where she said that, and I quote her, "I too am utterly appalled by my husband's behavior during the swap" and "I have asked him to get professional help."
We don't know whether she really said it, it's all hearsay of course. However, her friend Hollis Polk has removed all of her posts about this mess on her blog. This came around a time when a self proclaimed *friend* of the Fowler's made posts that the guests at the viewing party were as shocked as everyone else after watching the show.
Friend Hollis Polk not only defended Stephen for the last few days but she also wrote on her blog that the party was a fun event. Her statement contradicts this other guest and strangely enough she has deleted all her own posts about this. I guess she was instructed by Stephen to do so, so that he can start the counter attack.
This sounds very much like damage control by the Fowlers to me. After 4 days of not a single positive post about all of this the excusers are starting to appear. It is safe to assume that all of them are associated with the Fowlers.
Critical comments of Polk on Youtube are deleted extremely quickly. Her interview videos are hosted by cheesy, new age 'broadcast' channels. They all have deplorable names, the worst being "Chakrates" -- an amalgamation of Socrates and Chakra.
We can add insulting the great legacy of Hellenic philosophy as well as Indic cultures to Polk's many sins.
Still, I suggest people watch these interviews -- at least as long as your spleen holds out -- to get a glimpse of how smooth these operators think they are.
I would also note that Ms Polk's . . . uh . . . physical fitness . . . would not exactly match Stephen's ideal. I wonder if she has been the recipient of a backroom barb or too?
Perhaps her Spirit Guides could observe and let her know.
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Hollis Polk continues to publish simpering "insights" on her blog, in regards to the Fowlerification of our TV screens. She has had decades to hone her Rhona Byrne-esque appeals to "spiritual ascension" -- but her jive rings hollow. It's mostly cliches -- "flies and honey!" -- than earnest glimpses of life.
What shocks me though is how, in the face of overwhelming evidence and exposure, people like her still cling to the moral high ground. They humble all hypocrites who came before them.
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Fowler Apologies Are Real
The Apologies that have been previously posted here appear to be the real thing. They are now showing up on Renee’s Blog.
So I would like to take this opportunity to respond to both of them here as their comments are turned off on the blog.
First Renee.
Renee I do believe this has been a very hard lesson to you and your children. I was taken aback by your comments but at the same time saw a lot of potential in you and your ability to receive as well as give. I could also tell by small things in the show that some of these things you also didn’t agree with even at the time they transpired, For instance when you put your hands over your face at the table meeting, among others. Your explanation seams plausible and reasonable so will take them at face value.
I have been very verbal on the internet about how much this show ticked me off but never wished you or your children any harm. Remember, one mom to another, Children Learn What They Live !! I hope in the long run that you will find some positive in this experience and make the best of a really bad situation. Life is full of lessons, some not always pleasurable.
Stephen:
You sir are a piece of work ! I’ve seen so called “friends of friends” post in your defense the last few days with many excuses. The fact remains, this wasn’t just a bad day, you have a very self righteous view of your social standing and where others lay beneath your feet. Again I will offer a for instance. At the end of the show when they do the follow up, you continued your bad behavior. Even most children learn: “when you choose the behavior you choose the consequences.” I will also say to you as one parent to another I teach my children, if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. Something I suggest you learn to do as well, it’s called social etiquette. I will say to you, that I personally wanted no harm to come to your family, but you did need to experience the public outcry for your very public bad behavior. I hope in the future you too can learn from this experience, if not, get help !
I will say finally to both of you, I accept your apologies but please don’t mistake this for forgetting.
From: A self proclaimed redneck, high school graduate, mother of 3, educational activist, with one child serving in the U.S.M.C.
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This is not a judgement by any means; I'm just curious if anyone's wondered why they're so intensely upset by Steven Fowler. I definitely wonder this about myself. My husband and I are generally rational people, but watching this Wife Swap sent us into the realm of the irrational. It's as if Steven Fowler's energy is contagious.
Right after the show aired we (my husband & I) normally rational people started combing the internet (along with everyone else here it seems) looking for information about these 2 folks. We were pretty quickly able to find out where they lived and the morning after I sent an email to Ms. Stephen's own website and through the blog she had on another website expressing my concern about the affect of her husband's "training" and her own passivity on their kids. Didn't do anything with their address but just the fact that we took the time and energy to locate it has me wondering why.
The image of S. Fowler getting in the minivan verbally abusing Gayla while his son watched him intently and perplexedly stays with me.
Now I'm mesmerized by the reactions here. Why is this? I don't do this. The only other online community I've joined was Oprah's following her New Earth book club debut.
I'm going to self-analyze here and would love to hear from others who are so inclined. There's something here that's familiar to me and that is being taught to be superior when I was growing up. I've fought to get out of this mode my entire life and feel that I've finally getting rid of the vestiges of this unconcious training. I still hear this training though loud and clear in my sister. It's such a tremendous burden to bear, such an isolating way of being. I really feel sorry for those children because I know what they're going through. Also, verbal abuse that is not nipped in the bud by a parent is also uncomfortably familiar to me.
Anyone else thinking about this?
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Apologies are just damage control. No one acts like that once.
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I don't think we need to do any self-examination necessarily. We are upset by this guy because we are, most of us, decent people despite our occasional lapses in character.
We watched an extremely cruel man attack a well-meaning woman for no reason other than she was from a different part of the country, did not have a college degree, and was about 25 lbs overweight. It was like watching a man beat a puppy with a chain. Decent people are outraged at such gratuitous cruelty. To make matters worse, he was not called to account on the show for his actions.
I expect Mr. Long wanted to thrash the self-satisfied jerk at the meeting. He may not have been aware of all of abuse his wife suffered at his hands at the time of the meeting and really what would have been served by him lashing out at Fowler. Long showed self-restraint and class. While I would have loved him to get in a few verbal punches I'm not going to fault him for simply wanting to get the deal over with and his wife away from that toxic dump of humanity, Stephen Fowler, as quickly as possible.
I was as outraged as you were and I did not grow up in a household where we were told we were better than anyone else. There is no psychological baggage I'm carrying that sparked me off on this. It was simply that I detest cruelty for cruelty's sake and so do most people.
One other poster mentioned that the Fowlers bought a dog recently. I hope that is not true
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I will tell you why I am so upset (My post is "I'm so humiliated" and "please remember" ). I am from the San Francisco Bay Area and I feel so embarrassed that these people represent San Francisco and exhibit such bad behavior and leave the impression that this is what people from this area are like. I feel terrible that this is the experience that a person had visiting my amazing, fantastic California. She should have had a better experience, because Cali is such a better place than was portrayed.
Also, I think people in general are upset because on average, we don't like bullies. Still, I say lead by example. We fight hate with love.
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Another thing I found puzzling was, how often do you see "life coaches" and "tree huggers" wear so much black clothing? Quite the tell.
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I think I can sum up the reason his behavior caused such a strong negative reaction among so many people.
Gayla is a person, with her own life, her own beliefs. Even if you don't believe the same as another person you should always treat them with respect (do unto others....).
His treatment of her, a guest in his home, was so dehumanizing that it brought out the protective instincts in most people.
Hopefully, he learned a lesson. He's certainly had to look at his behavior in another light. I say forget and move on. He was a jerk, he apologized. He has to live with the consequences.
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Blah, blah, I'm sorry, blah blah. Sorry. Blah, blah. (Do I get to keep the $50,000? I have an expensive wine habit, and those bilingual schools don't come cheap.)
It's the Madoff school of apologies.
Had there been no outcry, there would have been no apology.
According Hollis Polk, Fowl-weather friend and attendee at the Wife Swap party on Friday night, the atmosphere was one of levity, booze, and overall mirth. Not a single note of regret.
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Here's another one of Fowler's moneymaking fronts:
Stephen's Company/Associates:
http://www.aglandinvest.com/
Email them to let them know what you think of Stephen Fowler.
Apparently, TERRANOVA operates from within this company's physical location.
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SHUT UP!
If Mrs. Long had been black and he had called her a n*****, this thing would be all over the media like Imus. If Stephen was gay and Mrs. Long called him a faggot, then this would have the ACLU in an uproar. But because he called her fat and redneck, it seems that it's not *as bad* and that there is some kind of time table as to when our outrage should be "let go".
This lame attempt at "Damage Control" is so transparent, Renee. Again, you are placing the blame, ultimately, on the Director who asked you "direct" and "probing" questions as to what level of education you thought the people in the home had. And YOU responded in a judgemental and elitist way with giggle and, "I'm betting they don't have 'advanced' degrees." (Like YOU do? Come on, a few cheap as dirt 'certifications' in neurolinguistic psycho-babble and "life coaching". Please.)
Then, you go on to place the blame on the editors. Those unfair editors who made it look like you said what you said, the way you said it.
We can see right through you, dear. You and your husband are reptilian elitists who use wordy prose to deceive and manipulate well-meaning people. According to your own friends, you were all "laughing hysterically" when the calls started coming in the night of the airing of the show with people wanting to know why Stephen was so mean. You're just sorry you got caught.
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SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
Like many of you, I was outraged by Stephen Fowler's behavior on Wife Swap on 1/30/09. As a result, I have e-mailed anyone who would listen, and blogged as much as I can stand. So here's my question: Clearly we have gotten Stephen and Renee's attention. They are well aware of our complaints and have been forced to pay some heed. Now what? Quite frankly, if our objective was to make the Fowlers as miserable as possible, for as long as possible, well, then I think we're being as bad as him. Personally, I don't think that was the goal of the thousands of people who have responded, like myself, with e-mails to employers, blog entries, and word of mouth. My impression is that all of us who were outraged, reacted in that way because of our sense of empathy for Gayla Long and her family, our sense of pride in our country and our military, and our general disgust and indignation with the arrogant, pompous, holier-than-thou attitude of a real jackass. All of those emotions and reactions were rolled into one tidal wave of response, triggered by Stephen "Butthead" Fowler. Again, my question is, now that we've caught his attention, where do we go from here?
Here's my idea: We make three demands (which can be arrived at by open discussion and a vote) which demands are then posted on this blog. All other known blogs which have addressed this issue will contain a link to this blog (StephenFowlerSucks.com), so that this particular blog will be a sort of "central registry" of input. We can even snail mail a hard copy of the 3 demands to Fowler in case he's not reviewing this blog. Once we communicate our set of 3 demands to Fowler, if he agrees to them, and complies with them, we call a truce. If not, the war of words rages on. My suggestion is that we open the floor to suggestions for 3 demands until Midnight, Friday, Feb 13th (the two week anniversary of the famous show). Then, some designated individual (perhaps the webmaster of this sight, if she/he agrees) reviews the various proposals, and gleans the top three. Those three are then communicated to Fowler. He then has 3 days to reject or accept. Once an accord has been reached, we suspend the "attack". In 30 days, on March 13, we confirm that he has followed through. If yes, it's all over. If not, we strike up the band again. If this procedure seems reasonable (or unreasonable) to the masses out there, please voice your opinions here. Here are MY three proposed demands: (1) Fowler issues a WRITTEN apology addressed to Gayla Long, her family, the U.S. Military, the inhabitants of Missouri, the U.S. as a whole, and his own two kids. (2) Stephen Fowler make a verbal apology to Gayla and her family, in person, which is video taped and distributed. His own family should also be present. (3) He seeks professional counseling to address his attitudes regarding the treatment of others whom he considers "lesser beings."
Feedback on the procedure or the 3 demands?
Sincerely,
jjcul
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Personally, I think your demand #1 has been met by the message he posted on Renee's blog. Perhaps it needs to be reposted elsewhere so a wider audience will see it?
I like your demands #2 & 3. Most important in my book is that the Fowler family seek counselling. Abuse is insidious and often generational. I'd like to see the cycle of abuse broken in this family if at all possible so that their children can lead happy normal lives. By the tone of his message it sounds like he'd be willing.
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Can I make a comment about the wife? Is that OK here?
I'm actually a (was is more like it) subscriber to her (Renee's) weight loss podcast.
I was an avid listener, but something about her got under my skin. She was constantly shilling her other pay products and soliciting "5 star" reviews on iTunes.
Something about her seemed really phony to me.
Then she started mentioning in her blog and on her podcast how all the hubbub about the economy was BS and SHE AND HER HUSBAND HAD MORE OPPORTUNITIES than ever, and were doing better than ever, and we should all ignore the news, because it wasn't real.She was basically boasting. I made a comment to her on the blog and told her she was being ridiculous basically, and she promptly edited it, and deleted my negative comment.
You can see what she edited it to here:
http://renee.personallifemedia.com/2008/11/13/create-a-microcosim-of-abundance/
The comment she made about the other families' neighborhood "this doesn't look like its going to be a luxury experience" and "I can see there are no advanced degrees here" were totally elitist.
I am definitley not going to be supporting her or listening to her show any longer.
I really think there is a reason she puts up with him, I think she thinks they are superior in every way.
She DOES reveal a lot on her podcasts about how her father was an alcoholic and yelled at her, and that she has been with abusive men before. Of course she never made mention of the god awful husband she has now.
I am pretty sure she puts all her energy into her exercise and perfection attaining to escape reality.
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It's really disturbing what Stephen Fowler said. Its not very San Franciscan, and not very NOE VALLEY!!!!
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i think that Mr Fowler is a racist and a big embrassment to the british and the american. should be ashamed to call him self an american. he needs to do more than apologize. he lives in america where the people in the military are fighting for a place for him to call home. how could you
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He deserved to be scorned, mocked and hated for the vicious, cruel things he said. I have known many such people in my time and dated a few too back when I was naive. He reminds me of a few of my past mistakes. Narcisstic jerks lack empathy or compassion. I actually seethed at him just watching that program. Thank you for starting this site for public opinion. People like this ugly jerk deserve every kick they can get.
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The really important out come of the show is, by all means, to learn something and to balance life.
On one hand, the gainers, the Deep South family which in return gained from the experience and actively is seeking change. This, in educated theory, is the hardest to accomplish.
Not to mention the viewers who realized that education can lead to a better quality of living, but not necessarily an ability to relate to other people walking around the globe.
On the other hand, the losers (opposite of achievers), with all that education and self absorbed life style, did not manage to learn anything. In fact they are probably walking around ignorant as ever on their social skills. What a waste of education.
To those out there who were impressed by Mrs. Fowler’s “certifications”, let me tell you that many “blue blooded” and educated people around the world, even in 3rd world countries, would tend to think that all her education (none of which is a real professional degree) is for those who cannot get in to real (top rated) schools. Her prototype would be the equivalent of a “dumb blond”. I wonder what Mr. Fowler would think of that.
Mr. Fowler probably prefers a timid thinker (idiot) around him so that he can brain wash at ease. Therefore, this argument proves that Mr. Fowler cannot provide a garden in which new ideas blossom. He will only take his own. He will not stand a chance in an environment in which people share ideas, again a basic idea of education and creation.
Wait a minute….. isn’t he a VC (venture capitalist)? It will sure be difficult to get business for him. No head screwed entrepreneur will seek a VC (venture capitalist) with so poor emotional intelligence (social skills) and difficulty to share ideas. Neither will he blend in the environmental and social context of ANY country in the world. This is so, to the fact that he cannot relate to the world around him nor take risks.
As for the apparent wealth the Fowler’s seem to have, I bet my 3rd world - Colombian sorry behind, it is inherited, (from a long linear family wealth) meaning none of it was amassed solely by him. Therefore, he has not achieved anything but the good fortune of inheritance. If this guy is making money, I would bet, he is making it on rent from somewhere in the world. And as we all know, owning property and renting it does not correlate (act in similar fashion) to education nor demonstrates achievement.
Therefore, this message is for the Fowler’s kids. I hope you; some day, read this and understand what I wrote and learned. Education is books + emotional intelligence.
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This is why the very liberal left is so unappealing to the masses. They are so smug and think they are so much more intellectual and better than everyone else. Most of Hollywood is the same way. If they can't see the wisdom in the alternative views, then they are not intelligent at all. They are brainwashed. If someone disagrees politically then they hate them and think of them as trash - is this really intelligence? No, it is reminiscent of Hitler. Joy of the View is this way as well. I say, let these people believe they are better than eveyone else and laugh at them.
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I happened upon the "fowler incident" through Yahoo and then watched the episodes on YouTube. What I found most distressing was the narrow, intolerant and ignorant mindset which the individuals displayed. Mr. Fowler epitomized the intolerance which explains why individuals, groups and nations are at war with each other - no one wanted to even try - let alone attempt to understand each other. I hope that adults were able to see how influential they are on the mindsets which their children develop. When Mr. Long - to his credit - finally acknowledged that Mrs. Fowler did have something to offer, the boys began to open their minds and they began to cooperate as well. I believe that there is little hope for minds as twisted and as intolerant Mr. Fowler. Sure he is bright, he is rich, and he is successful at providing for his family but it is sad that he is so devoid of that which ought to define his species -heart.
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This prick on facebook seems intent on defending Fowler:
"Matt Aah Ah SaviouroftheUniverse" (London)
Probably his new facebook name
Check out the group :
"I Cannot Stand Stephen Fowler (from Wife Swap)"
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=122800425225&topic=7597#/board.php?uid=122800425225
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Fowler cannot get out of this situation, a counter attack? There is no going back with this, and as for his wife, there is no excuse for his behavior, and I hope that she really truly captures the disgusting creature she has married. I am deeply fascinated with England, so it was very difficult for me to watch this. I still believe that his actions do not speak for all Brits, of course, and neither should yourselves. I am in the 11th grade, so you should see that this really does effect all of America. And considering the fact our backgrounds are a majority of European contries... its just lurid behavior. Sometimes I just think they are angered that they can not control America. Anywho fowler is one person...
Sincere Regards
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i am an "ex" client of Renee's and know that the letter is real, i am still on her mass email and i got it the other day (or week was it?)
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i have english in my family and frankly after this i'd rather be a REDNECK. They know how to behave better than u do.
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Personally, I feel as though Stephen crossed the line. Also, we know these prejudices exist but to actually watch someone be cruel and evil, was beyond belief.
Also, I felt he put down Americans and I was perplexed as to his reason why he lives here in America, to educate us Americans, as we all seem undereducated and overweight, especially in the Mid-West. He is superman and is here to save the world from utter stupidity, and make sure more Americans have passports. I don't own a passport because I have no reason to travel abroad.
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WOW. What is that guy's trip, and how did his parents raise him? The way he spoke so rudely to that woman in front of his children...I'm concerned about the residual effects on his kids. Funny how such a self-proclaimed highly educated person who brags up his I.Q. number can at the same time be utterly un-self aware of his shameful manners and self righteous pomposity. To me, it seems he has stuffed some real self doubt and needs to tear down others to bloat his own ego. His negative attitude and superiority complex makes him completely unattractive, and even if were a decent human being, he would still be a bland, frumpy little every-man. And bland, frumpy little every-men can be extremely attractive- when they are compassionate, humble and interesting-all of which Fowler is certainly not.
Does he not realize that, it wasn't so many years ago that world travel for all wasn't even possible? That someone who doesn't yearn to travel can still be intelligent and humane? That his preconceived notions of middle America are sweeping generalizations? That imposed education could be construed as over-rated, that he would be nothing without his precious EDUCATION, a feeble intelligence-bot without a shred of ingenuity or basic humanity, that probably would short circuit if left to fend for himself in nature, without money, a maid, spic-and -span floors.. He is such an uptight hypocrite. What a kooky couple. If it wasn't so embarrassingly real and appalling, it would seem like well scripted comedy- Saturday Night Live could draw a great skit off this.
I wonder why he originally decided to do the show. Selfish motivation most likely, his need to evangelize and impose his perfect facade on all who are seemingly less enlightened than himself. But being in the presence of simple "rednecks" immediately negates his whole overly complex existence.
I love how his plan backfired. The more he built himself up by tearing that woman down, the worse and more transparent he appeared.
Superiority complexes are the downfall of humanity.
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