2 weeks later people are still outraged
one of the letters that were sent to me:
Dear Mr. Fowler:
I will start this letter by
first stating that I rarely watch “reality” television. I
much prefer to watch what I consider, at least in my opinion, more worthwhile
programs. I would have never heard of you had it not been for
a headline on Yahoo, claiming that you were the worst husband ever.
Out of curiosity I clicked the link and then read of your behavior on
‘Wife Swap.’ As stated previously, I do not watch reality
television so therefore I have never viewed a single episode of ‘Wife
Swap’ but after reading about your rude and hateful behavior towards
Gayla, I made it a point to watch this particular episode.
It is here that I would like
to tell you that I’m a Missouri resident. I also will tell you
that I’m educated. I have two Bachelors degrees, one Masters
degree, and am currently working on a Ph.D. I have a BMI of 20
and I take good care of my body. I also endorse environmental
awareness and I live as ‘green’ as I can. I also take an interest
in other cultures and make it a point to stay current on global issues.
In short, I am everything a Missouri resident, a Midwesterner, should
not be according to your highly prejudiced, myopic viewpoint.
I took what I saw on ‘Wife
Swap’ with an ample grain of salt as “reality” as portrayed on
reality television may be a rather dubious representation of real life.
With that said, I was nonetheless horrified and appalled at what I can
only describe as vicious, callous, spiteful, arrogant, hateful, if not
downright pathological behavior on your part. In fact, I am very
confused as to why anyone with your so called intelligence and education
can act, and treat others, like you did.
It is therefore my opinion
that you, sir, are a fraud. It is my contention that you learned
very little during your education. If you had, you would have
discovered how interconnected we are with others as a species.
You would have noted from your history lessons how elitists have abused
the individuals they considered beneath them, as well as how kindly
history now remembers those elitists. You might have gained some
perspective on how utterly insignificant we are when compared to the
vastness of the universe. You also might have learned humility
and gratitude when you reflected on how very unlikely it is that we
are even here. Finally, if you would have been paying attention
at University, you would have felt a sense of responsibility to serve
humankind as well as the environment.
The individuals you scorn have
as much right to dignity as you, yet you completely demoralised that
woman as well as the rest of the people captured by your wide brush
strokes of generalisation. You apparently believe that people
who do not live up to your standards are subhuman. That attitude,
sir, is a very dangerous one to have as we have seen what happens when
one group of people dehumanise another group.
I am further saddened to see
you teach your children the same bigoted ideals. You are preparing
them to carry on your legacy of arrogance and pompousness. This
is doing a disservice to them as they will be handicapped in socialisation
skills with their fellow humans as well as healthy emotional development.
I hope that these apples will fall far, far from your tree.
I care not that you insulted
my country as becoming an American was simply an accident of my birth.
I care not that you insulted my entire state as becoming a resident
of Missouri was again, simply an accident of birth. My skin is
thick enough to dismiss your venom as the ideals of a bigot.
I do not forgive you your horrendous
behavior or your equally sickening morality.
It's a great letter,but I doubt that you
are an American by birth as you suggest.
You use the English spelling of certain words,not the Daniel Webster/American adaptations that a school kid in MO
would have learned in the classroom.
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I saw that too, but also it strikes me how his education is a bit removed from K-12 schooling. And, if one has a liking for English literature, it's quite natural to pick up British spelling, especially if they have studied abroad.
On another note, I appreciate having this forum to vent on the Fowler issue because ABC keeps deleting my pointed observations on their boards, lol.
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I applaud the sentiments set forth in this letter, but whoever this is tries WAY too hard to speak (type) properly and intelligently. It's very possible to speak inteligently without having to use sentences that are 400 words long. It's also much more effective. Scholars know that, or should. There are a few big words that are used here that look good but just miss the mark and seem to have been used because they're big words. Also, there are grammatical and punctuation errors that a scholar at that level might not have made. I don't think this guy is a fraud necessarily, but I think he (she?) tried WAY too hard for this letter to be really effective. Again, I applaud the sentiment. But dude, don't try to out-superior Fowler on his own (self-presumed) standards. It only lowers you to his level. Just tell it like it is. The guy's an ass.
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I don't think this person was trying to be pretentious or show off. I think it was written to show that Fowler is not the only one that can speak intelligently. And if the response was anything less than scholarly, it would only prove to Fowler that people from Missouri ARE beneath him. When that isn't so. I think this person did a great job putting him in his place.
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Depends on how old he is, Remember Dan Quayle spelling potato incorrectly? I was taught (in Iowa during the 1950's) to spell it potatoe so was surprised at all the hullabaloo. I also grew up with Aeroplane, Automobiles and Autotrucks. I also call soda "pop" can't help it, I'm from the Midwest
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Don't be ignorant. As an American I use British spellings all the time - Yet I have never been overseas to be schooled.
Way to be closeminded.
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I have studied abroad,I do read 'Brit Lit' and,yet,I still manage to follow
the rules of spelling laid out by Daniel
Webster. It's not that hard to do.
Yeah,I am CLEARLY the one who is
ignorant. (rolling eyes)
Ths just in..Stephen Fowler is still an
ass.
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I wonder what the guy would have to do to earn the forgiveness of those he offended. Are we a completely unforgiving nation?
What's confounding to me is the people on the ABC message boards wanting the man's citizenship revoked because he expressed his freedom of speech. WTF?
I, too, was offended by Fowler, and like many thousands I registered on the ABC Wife Swap board to denounce the man. But I can't believe that it's two weeks later and there are people all over America who seriously want to destroy this man's life. I don't like seeing people getting bullied, period. I didn't like it when Fowler was belittling Gayla Long, and I dislike this mob-mentality of "let's not stop until the man is destitute and deported."
I'm a Christian and it's against my religion not to forgive people. I'm willing to bet Gayla Long forgives the man.
I watched the show again (and several other episodes), and I noticed that #1, he was pretty genial to her for a couple of days. #2, she was dishing it out, too. "Your office is a waste of space." I would probably be unfriendly to a person that said that to me. "You're stupid". "Somebody from the Midwest ought to come here and kick your ass". #3, almost all Wife Swap husbands belittle and ridicule whatever weakness their new "wife" posesses. They all balk at the rule changes. They all demean the new wife in front of their children. Every episode.
I'm sure Stephen Fowler has had a very rude awakening, and anybody who thinks they are helping the Fowler children by dragging their father through the mud needs to wake up, too. It's just a show, and the guy said he is sorry. These are real peoples' lives.
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Well Leigh Ann, this guy did not just insult Gayla long. He insults middle class people, military, America.....list will go on..These are the reasons why people still hate him.
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Stephen Fowler managed to insult most of the demographic that watched the show. I find it hard to believe that a man as smart as he claims to be wouldn't have foreseen this unless he is really sick in the head. If the network encouraged him then he is still to blame for playing along with their expectations.
I also think it's unrealistic of you to expect people to just bury/ dismiss their anger. If that man has a problem with the US he should not be living here. He clearly has the means to live many other places in the world, he should go do that. I wouldn't want him around me (and I have several degrees and a long resume). I don't believe for one minute he is truly sorry, nor does an apology fix everything. I feel sorry for his children and I hope they get the message from this public outcry that their father's bigoted behavior is not OK and has consequences that don't get fixed with a simple "I'm sorry."
Sadly, I've had the displeasure of dealing with other Stephen Fowlers from other countries as well as some from the USA who subscribe to his views. He is but one out of many; he is symbolic of a lot of very distasteful people. He chose to go on television and come out publicly as an intolerant, mocking bigot. He can just deal with the consequences and learn that such behavior does not pay.
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Are we unforgiving? No. If he were truly capable of having that rude awakening, and able to change his ways for the betterment of himself, his wife and his children, we would be happy to say "Good for you" and go our happy ways. The guy has not said he's sorry. His wife slapped some half-assed apology on her weight loss website to keep from losing clients. There's a huge difference. Do you really thing that saying "Your office is a waste of space" is ANYTHING like the insults he threw at her, at Americans, the military, and the country he should consider himself privileged to live in? Not by a long shot. Sure, I can forgive the man on a personal level, but as an American, he's still got my hackles up. Spit on me, but do NOT spit on my country and the people who serve to keep it free. It will not be tolerated.
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Leigh Ann, I totally agree with you. Yes, Fowler was a jackass, but Gayla's hubby was one too. Most husbands on Wife Swap are. Everyone just needs to get over it and go on with their lives.
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I have to disagree. Yes, all husbands on the show are less than happy about the changes. If everybody got along brilliantly, the show would be one big snooze fest. But they realize that they signed up for it and go along with the program. Nothing Alan Long said or did even comes CLOSE to the abuse that Fowler heaped upon Gayla. In fact, Alan showed much more class than Fowler will ever have by not standing up and putting his fist through the arrogant bastard's nose.
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"In fact, Alan showed much more class than Fowler will ever have by not standing up and putting his fist through the arrogant bastard's nose."
Exactly! I watched him say "What's that supposed to mean" with a disgusted look. But he sat tight and didn't ssay or do anything more.
Even if Alan showed that restraint because he was on camera, he turned out smarter than Fowler, whose arrogance blinds him to that totally. And this is AFTER Fowler whispered his wife that she's not going to be happy with his behavior!
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Like you're "getting over it and going on with your life" by popping on here and posting in Fowler's defense? Incidentally, some of us who don't watch a lot of TV (such as I) didn't even hear about it until Yahoo picked up the story.
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What you seem to miss is that he claimed to be of such superior character and education. It's the mark (or at least it should be) of an educated, intelligent person to be able to interact with a wide variety of personalities congenially, isn't it? I'm amazed that he chose to act like that to someone, ANYone, knowing that the cameras were recording his every move. He should be beyond mortified.
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The smartest people learn something from everyone they meet.
Fowler would not last a minute here in a town like Los Alamos (highest per capita PhD's in the world)among educated people of true character.
Sounds like he did not last long in Britain either!
I just really feel sorry for his kids.
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Renee - Something to think about but I hate your guts too.
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Do not forget Leigh Ann, Mr. Fowler defaced America and our countries people with his comments about America. In addition, his wife mentioned she did not have a choice where she wanted to be born. I do agree that American's are, understandably, upset and wish to seek vengeance on Steve Fowler. They should have hired someone to beat the living tar out of him and let him know it is from all the pissed off Americans. I would do it myself if he got in my face and spat off the comments he so proudly said.
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I don't believe that he is really sorry. He is sorry he's being harassed, sure, but I seriously doubt he learned anything. However, the stuff about deporting him is simply ridiculous. The beauty of america is that anyone can stand on the main street and scream at the american flag. The flip side of the intelligent people being able to speak their mind, is that assholes can too. There are many dumb americans (we're a big country after all), and now this guy is one of them.
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Mr. Fowler, as just another ignorant, undereducated Mid-American rube with pathetically patriotic tendencies, I am curious about this "citizen of the world" concept of yours. If you get arrested in a country other than America, which embassy do you call for help? If San Francisco is attacked, which army do you expect to rescue you? If San Francisco is devastated by a severe earthquake, which area of the world do you expect aid from? Kindly enlighten us all, because inquiring minds want to know.
That said, I always thought, at best, the tales of feudal aristocrats hanging hungry serfs for poaching rabbits during famines had to be gross exaggerations because no one could be that callous or sadistic. At worst, the Enlightenment Age had eradicated such misanthropic behavior in people. Yet here you are in your Tree Hugger tee shirts spewing bile at a human being who never harmed you in her life!
Which leads me to my next question; since you obviously like plants more than people, WHO are you preserving the environment for? Why did you have progency? It seems only logical that the plants will thrive if you depopulate the planet. No arborphilia is necessary.
My last observation is this. You seem surprised by the condemnation of your behavior on Wife Swap. You must have skipped your Classics Class. So, maybe I can enlighten you on what people object about your conduct.
When you signed up to do this show, you invited Gayla Long to your home. You agreed to give her access to your children. You agreed to listen to her, follow her suggestions and try her rules. That is presumably the reason why you hosted her. She was your guest. No matter how far beneath you she may or may not be, as a female guest under the protection of your roof, the laws of hospitality dictate she was entitled to basic chivalry and common courtesy.
That is why anyone watching your antics on this show is so outraged. You violated a practice that is defended by both the Divine (see all the myths of the wrath rude mortals reaped by offending their godly visitors) and Man.
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Leigh Ann,
You are quite simply wrong in your assessment. Those were his words of hate and bigotry and his tone of derision and pure contempt for a fellow human being based on his own predjudice and arrogance. No amount of editing could have placed those words in his mouth and tones in his voice. The price of a few weeks of online outrage is small compared to a life spent abusing his good fortune of having the gift of both a basic level of intelligence (that doesn't appear to be quite so astounding and amazing as he believes) and the great good fortune to have the privilege of a good education. Shame on him and let this perhaps serve as launching pad for him to reconsider how to use those precious gifts before all opportunity is lost. With that said, I think it is fine to express an opinion and outrage online. To cross the line into hate or worse yet, attempt to harrass the family personally by contacting them directly is equal to his bad behavior and should not be condoned. Forums such as this, however, give people an opportunity to hold up a mirror, and in part to check to ensure they are not developing this same abhorrent behavior. Hopefully it reminds us all to be kinder and to call out behavior that is detrimental to society. Steven Fowler; consider yourself called out.
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I precisely agree Leigh Ann. Surely he did create a major offensive strike on the American people, but I think that we are already taking it to the next level that we are almost the same as him. This is only my opinion, I believe that everything that happens in our lives are lessons that need to be learned. And when we are reluctant to learn these lessons, events will keep on repeating itself until these lessons are learned, and usually, the hard way. Clearly Mr. Stephen Fowler encountered his lesson, and I personally hope he learned it already. Also, God is very forgiving, why can't we be like Him when in fact, He is perfect. We simply don't have the right to judge people. Remember he has kids to take care of, a family. I believe every human deserves another chance. In one time or another, we also behaved like him some time in our lives. I just don't like that the American people would prove that Mr. Fowler is right themselves. I just wanted to show Mr. Fowler how an educated, value-oriented, and loving an American could be.
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No. We are not the same as him. We did not come to his country and piss on it. We did not attack an innocent man, his values, his country and everything the people in his country stood for. He did those things, and it will not be tolerated. If he doesn't want the backlash from his actions, it's up to him to demonstrate that he no longer deserves it. He was very public with his abuse; let's see him go public with his apology and actions proving that he's no longer the same man that said and did those things. Let's see that he has, indeed, learned a lesson.
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I love it when people bring God into the equation and call Him "loving" and "forgiving". He is. But He is also a God of judgment and justice, which is equally important to note.
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"Also, God is very forgiving, why can't we be like Him when in fact"
God is forgiving only of those who are first truly repentant of their sins. The half-assed self serving "apology" placed on his wife's board does not meet the standard. Perhaps if he stood up publicly, before all those who he offended, midwesterners, overweight people, military servicemen and women, and Americans in general... and delivered a heartfelt apology stating he was acting like a jerk and admitting it was wrong... then forgiveness would be deserved.
You are right, we should try to be more like God. God sends the unrepentant sinner straight to hell.
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See, this is where I'm sorta lucky. I'm Pagan. There is love and mercy where it is deserved. But we also believe in holy vengeance. And Ghosti. It's a basic principal and I can't even steal it by calling it a Pagan principal. A person who enters your house is to be treated with respect and courtesy, no matter how different their views and beliefs.
I'm certain that the Christian God is, in fact, a loving and forgiving God but if I recall my childhood Sunday school lessons correctly you have to A: ASK forgiveness (not have someone else ask it for you) and B: Actually be sorry. By my observation, Stephen Fowler is not.
Then again, I think that God only accepts all this stuff from actual human beings. I would not degrade the entire human race by referring to Stephen Fowler as one.
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I do not live in the USA. I lived in the USA for decades and finally left for Scandanavia when it declared war on a supine nation (Iraq) and then had the deeply dubious notion to re-elect GWB, an obviously incompetent boob. I had enough and decided to pursue a career opportunity elsewhere.
Thanks to the global hegemony of American "Culture" I do have access to the mind numbing drool called American TV, which I do hold as an occasional guilty pleasure. I saw Fowler on Wife Swap, and was simply appalled. I find nationalists (of any stripe) tedious, BUT: what he did was completely over the line, so cruel, and truly stupid.
If I were in a wife swap situation with Gayla Long, I would NEVER have treated her the way Fowler did. My household is every bit as intent on education and culture as Fowlers, but: we're not assh*les. Opinionated, yes. Intellectual, yes. But we welcome people, we don't shun them. We learn from those we disagree with, as it either confirms our convictions or provides a point of transformation - *which is what learning is all about*.
It would have been so much easier for Fowler to find out what Gayla likes to do, what her expectations are, and then simply cater to them for a week - let her destroy herself on TV.
Then he would have come off as the magnanimous ecological genius he passes himself off as, and not the narrow-minded bigot that he so clearly is. He's now set back the cause of American ecological progress by lord knows how much by sewing this kind of classist, culturist discordant nonsense.
If he was a tiny fraction of the "aware ecologist" he pretends to be, he would know that (along with the rest of the American elites who *I assure you* are all KEENLY aware of the following
1. the American "Lifestyle" that Mr Long propounds (Quantity over Quality) is suicidal and doomed.
2. He would know that North American natgas production will cease to be energetically worth mining by 2020, precipitating a crisis not only in heating and cooking, but farming as well; fertiliser is made of natgas.
3. He would know that the global per capita energy quotient has been decreasing since the 1980s, and mindless Consumer Culture will, by necessity, disappear in the next few decades due to lack of resources.
4. He would know that Suburbia is the single greatest misappropriation of resources in human history: he doesn't have to do ANYTHING to make it go away - it will collapse soon enough of its own accord.
5. He would know that it is people like the Longs' lifestyle that is the problem, and it is the *transformation* of their lifestyle that will not only save their lives, but also have the effect of deconstructing the American Empire and help create a more harmonious, sustainable global civilisation.
Criticism from the jingoist American camp is expected, predictable and dreary. His second (the Longs are #1) offence is against the very people he purports to be allied with. What an Epic Fail, Fowler. Truly Epic.
-Jeremiah
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"Criticism from the jingoist American camp is expected, predictable and dreary."
Wow, and I thought Fowler reeked of superiority complex!
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"the American "Lifestyle" that Mr Long propounds (Quantity over Quality) is suicidal and doomed." Agreed--America should hold itself responsible for the demands its consumption places upon the world. But that's not to say other countries haven't gone overboard in consumption, particularly of late. One might cite here Iceland's romp through credit-fueled consumption, and its resulting financial crisis. Many other examples of runaway consumerism exist within Europe alone, such as overcapacity built into some housing markets or the baffling success of SUVs. It's easy to pointedly look at America because our excesses are so egregious, although Europe shares some of these same tendencies. I think we're all due for a reality check here.
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A person's lifestyle is personal. Nobody has a right to judge how the Longs live. Don't attack the victims. Don't say the Longs deserved the abused because of how they live. That's too much like saying a woman deserved to be raped because she was wearing sexy clothes. There's no excuse for what Fowler did. None. He's welcome to join you wherever you moved to, and you're welcome to stay there.
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Jeremiah is another one of those Europhonies -- the giveaway? "offence" which is an English spelling that never appears in US media. The silly and predictable comments about Iraq and Bush are common effluvia in Europe -- a continent that couldn't choose to defend itself since the collapse of the Maginot Line. All the Eurotrash are in a constant lather over American lifestyles -- so sure that we will "crash" at some point they designate in the future, not realizing that the very settlement and taming of America was improbable, and by European standards -- impossible. Never mind that our consumption isn't just dictated by what is presumed to be our outsize appetites, but also by the unique character of our country -- a large, physically dispersed population that doesn't depend on a small governmental elite to tell them how they must live. Methinks we will solve our future problems much as we have solved our past problems -- with ingenuity and vigor. It is the dying continent of Europe that needs to be looking over its shoulder -- its population has fallen well below the replacement rate, there is no faith among its peoples in their futures or their destiny. Europe's doom is surely foretold, America is still making its destiny -- and that is why nincompoops like Fowler flock to America -- no matter what beliefs they profess. The opportunity to grow rich, however much denied, is a prime motivator. Fowler clearly was not someone that could be considered upper crust in the UK, much less anywhere else. His flashing of the reversed V at the end (the UK equivalent of FU) indicated that he was from a lower class and is as much angry about that as his small stature and the fact that people refuse to acknowledge what he presumes to be his high intelligence. As someone commented, Fowler is a misanthrope -- he dislikes mankind and even has difficulty showing and acting in a loving manner to his own children. He is to be both pitied and abhorred.
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...Have you ever been to Europe? I mean, seriously?
Fowler mainly dissed Americans, for different reasons. So you say he is a misanthrope. You're sitting there dissing, not just one country, but an entire continent. And based on your comments, it doesn't seem like you know anything about Europe. So, I would have to say that you are a misanthrope as well.
Also, what is with all of this judging people's origins, based on their spelling? I spell "the British way" frequently, just because I've picked it up from British literature. And yes, I'm born and bred American. Hell, I'm even military.
Don't worry, I'll be sure to pity and abhor you.
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"...Have you ever been to Europe? I mean, seriously?" I suppose he is not entitled to an opinion about a segment of European society without visiting there? Who makes these rules, you?
I highly doubt that 1.) you are military. You stand up for a guy who has dissed the military.
I also doubt, 2.) that you are an American. We don't call it "British" literature. We call it "English" literature. If you had read it, you would know what to call it.
You are a fake and a phony, whoever you are.
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Years ago, English lit was called British lit in my college courses. I wouldn't be using that to prove a point if I were you.
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"It would have been so much easier for Fowler to find out what Gayla likes to do, what her expectations are, and then simply cater to them for a week - let her destroy herself on TV."
My, quite the fowleresque observation you've made concerning Gayla Long. Along with Fowler, you have learned nothing of this experience and nothing of humanity.
You have the audacity to speak of learning and relationships when in fact you would have employed deceitful tactics to purposefully "destroy" another human being.
Gayla Long is to be applauded! She at least made an attempt to make a connection to fowler and his family. He rejected her outright. You, on the other hand, reject her simply because she exists. I thought Fowler was putrid, you far surpass his putrescence.
You and the environmental field have something in common: you're both frauds. Playing an environmentalist vs. being compensated for one's education, knowledge and skills are totally different. Even a hack such as yourself would know that.
Thankfully I left the environmental field years ago and ran for my life. You keep believing the planet will implode as a result of the actions of people such as the Longs or as a result of humankind's actions. Maybe someday you'll wake up, maybe never.
May The Lord have mercy on you and your buddy Fowler and your ilk.
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"let her destroy herself on TV."
You are no better than he is. You obviously carry the same perspective that he does. Glad you actually left the country.
Isn't it hilarious that Fowler is actually the one that did that, and Gayla was the one that catered to him? Ha ha ha.
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Why are you so eager to have Gayla "destroy herself" on TV? It appears you also harbor ill will toward "non-elite" of American society.
I actually think she exhibited the qualities you recommended - welcoming people, learning about other points of view, either confirming one's beliefs or providing a transformation. Didn't the Long family do just that? They were making an effort to adopt healthier eating habits. Gayla was continuing to take one of her sons to French lessons.
I also wonder if the Long family truly is using more energy or the if they are the least ecologically friendly of the two families. Yes, the Longs are riding ATVs, but the Fowler family proudly claims they are well traveled. How much jet fuel have the Fowlers consumed compared to the Longs gas consumption for their ATVs? Hmmm....
The local ABC affiliate in San Francisco showed Mr. Fowler in his garage next to a BMW - not a Prius. During the episode Mr. Fowler was seen loading up a white van - also not the most fuel efficient mode of transportation.
If, as you suggest, farming faces a crisis of resources in 2020, which family will be better situated to provide their own food? The millions of people crammed into cities with limited, if any, yard space for a garden? It appeared the Longs had enough room to plant a garden, raise rabbits/chickens, etc. Fowler's garden did not look that impressive.
If the civilized world puts more effort into telecommuting, will suburbia really be doomed? Some jobs will require people to be live in closer proximity, but the web makes it possible for others to choose where they live. We really need to make a stronger push to encourage companies in that direction now.
The Fowlers live in California, a state facing serious issues with water resources, earthquakes and overpopulation. Missouri's resources are not so thinly stretched. The Fowlers' desire for the California lifestyle strains the environment much more.
Although I am very much opposed to the Iraq war and our over-reliance on military means to an end, I think it is far too optimistic to assume that life will become wonderful and peaceful on a global scale if we could just convince the pesky Longs to give up their ATVs. With the fall of the American empire comes the rise of the Chinese empire. Somebody else picks up where we left off, just as America picked up where Europe left off. How much faster will the planet's resources be drained as China and India become the new hubs of manufacturing and consumption.
I think that you are too focused on the predictable, tired and dreary anti-American slant of Europe. Europe's relationship with America resembles that of Fernand Mondego to Edmond Dantes in the Count of Monte Cristo - jealous, treacherous "friend" who could not stand our luck and looks forward to our demise. But, like Fernand, the EU will not get top billing again. It passes on to our Asian friends now.
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Kim, you make excellent points!
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Kim wrote:
"Why are you so eager to have Gayla "destroy herself" on TV?"
Did I say that? No I did not say that. I said "let her destroy herself" on TV. It's called managing media. You don't attack, you simply present no complexity, and let the other party become the focus. The show is designed to amplify differences. If you present none, then it will look to the other party for the "entertainment" value, which in Wife Swap's case is a walloping dose of schadenfreud. So, you "let the other party" be the victim of the gaze of Entertainment.
The energy hypocrisy of Fowler and others is no surprise. We live in a world of contradictions, and being able to manage the dialectics of the practice of history is necessarily complicated, by definition. They are as bound to the disaster as you are.
However, there are some few guideposts to the arc of civilisation. You needn't worry about a Chinese Empire following the American Empire. With the collapse of the American Empire, the age of Empire will be over for a good long while. For more guidance on this, I would recommend "Collapse" by Jared Diamond. An older, but also interesting volume is "An Inquiry into the Human Prospect" by Heilbroner, and the classic by Tainter, "The Collapse of Complex Societies". And yes, Suburbia very done for. I recommend the film "The End of Suburbia", and the works of... I forget his name. He wrote "The Geography of Nowhere". I have it - it's at my brother's in Danmark.
Ignore those books at your own risk.
I never lived in California, (visited once - LA. Yuck.) so I have no comments for you on that count, except to agree with you that they seem pretty well done for. Flat broke it seems - just like USA. Very sad.
Someone else wrote to me:
"Gayla Long is to be applauded! She at least made an attempt to make a connection to fowler and his family. He rejected her outright. You, on the other hand, reject her simply because she exists. I thought Fowler was putrid, you far surpass his putrescence."
No - I agree. Gayla was a better person than Fowler, which isn't saying much, given what manner of fool Fowler is.
I was simply demonstrating an "angle" on the show. I was involved with TV production for 12 years. I know how these shows are made, and I know how they work, and why people want to be on them. The Fowlers were in it for economic gain, and needed a VERY disciplined game plan. Stephen ruined it for himself, but mostly his wife and kids. One should never EVER go on a show without knowing exactly what you want to do on it, and why you want to do it, and have thought out the reprecussions and secondary responses of and in the viewership.
The show is more of a pantomime - it's not real. It's TV. But it does exist in a real world, and when tiny arrogant men like Fowler get involved, well, they just "fowl" things up.
My interest is not to defend him - Herregud nej - he's a prick - but more to add to the conversation and provide other angles of understanding.
Cheers,
JvK
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I will read the material you suggested. Thanks.
If you are living in the EU, then perhaps you have the luxury of not worrying about a Chinese empire. America is in deep debt to China. We have moved practically the majority of our manufacturing base there. The Soviets stripped East Germany of its manufacturing capability after WWII, but we, our own corporations, stripped America of ours out of sheer greed. We did it to ourselves. We are at the mercy of a nondemocratic country that allows it citizens to be worked in sweatshop conditions. It is hard to feel comfortable about that.
You have Putin to worry about with his little natural gas empire and rumblings to swallow up neighboring countries like Lithuania again.
If I could wave a magic wand, I would love to enlarge the EU to include the U.S., Canada - and allow people to work or live within all of the member countries as they please. That would go a long way toward solving America's insular outlook - to have a fresh and steady influx of outside points of view - of a better variety than the Fowler kind, of course.
I am still holding out that the lack of petrol will simply push forward other technology - cars that are powered by air compressors, ones that convert water to hydrogen, plug-in hybrids, moving back to a reliance on public transportation.
I think a better idea for transportation would be to stop building cars that rely 100% on powering themselves. Our homes, TVs, microwaves, etc. do not each have their own engine or power source. We plug them in to a public power grid. Why don't we do the same with cars? People would have the convenience of private transportation (their own cars for safety,privacy reasons, the ability to go where and when they want), while at the same time using energy from a grid. The grid, just as our electrical power does now, could get its power from a variety of sources - solar, wind, coal, biofuels, etc. If we spend a fortune developing a new generation of cars that run on one power source, e.g. hydrogen, then we will run into the same problem we have now - too much demand for one specific source of energy. Every major roadway should be part of the public grid, and the car would have a minor power source for side streets. Just my two cents worth. I am an optimist that our creativity and the coming necessity for change will push this thing in the right direction - some serious bumps along the way - but still moving forward.
Regarding viewership - Fowler should have known better. I can still hear my professors exhorting "know your audience!" - how did he miss that one? He was playing to an audience of one - himself? - or so it seems.
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It is true that those Americans who live in a cocoon would be better off if they had a better world-view. But there are a large number of Americans who are more aware than people tend to presume.
On the other hand, there is the inherent danger in minimal understanding of the cultures, and using an American prism to view the rest of the world.
Putin and natural gas empire and return of the Soviet Union - this is a simplistic view of the threat faced from the Russians. Russian economy is booming, though inflation is high, and they are likely to focus on benefiting from a drift towards globalization and open markets. Sure, there will be 'rumblings', but I think they are smarter than to alienate the world in an abysmal way like Whacko Bush did with Iraq.
The electric cars you speak of - ones that can be charged from electrical outlets - do exist, but they are yet to become viable. It's just a matter of time before you have "gas" stations which have charger-stations, in addition to gasoline and diesel. It may take a while before public transportation can become a way of life, but hopefully it will.
Your posts are good, Kim. You have a more level-headed approach in both your posts. Probably more than mine. lol
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Actually I was thinking of something little different than plug-in hybrids. The downfall of the plug-in is that it requires powerful (often large) battery. When gasoline was particularly high this past year the Prius was on backorder - They could not meet the demand for batteries.
I envision a smaller battery/system that is used ONLY for side roads, and while on the main roads (the majority of your commute) the car would be plugged into a grid that is PART of the road - similar to electric rail system (but more aesthetically pleasing if possible).
The power for the grid at several small localized substations - maybe the fuel for those coming from a variety of sources - biofuels, wind, etc. If a car doesn't have to carry a big battery - in fact, maybe cities could have cars that work/stay on the grid as part of the public transportation system, it could be lighter and require less energy.
Think of Back to the Future when Michael J. Fox's car "plugged" into the clock tower and lightening strike - only have it plugged into a grid for regular travel.
People could provide fuel for their own substations - maybe enzymes that break down our garbage - to fuel our transportation rather than fill our landfills. I think it would be most efficient to produce the energy from renewable sources close to where we plan to use them - so if you live near the ocean and can harness it's energy or windfarms, if you live in the grain belt, use the most efficient/closest resource.
If you commute to work 30 miles each way, say 26 of it is on major roadways, and only 4 on side roads that connect your home or business to the major roadways. Your main power for your commute would be from the grid that is part of the roadway, so your car would only need a battery to power the car for a few miles.
The key would be diversity of how these stations could provide the energy for the grid - to what is convenient for the locale - while at the same time providing the uniformity for being able to consume that energy no matter what part of the country you are in. Diversity would keep us from running into the same problem we have now - billions of cars on the road needing fuel. If we switch to natural gas or hydrogen for all cars, we are back in the same boat. If we need to produce billions of very large high powered batteries, w
Think of the revenue that could generate for a city. People could pay for their consumption of power on the grid using some sort of Speedpass that the grid could read to gauge consumption and send an invoice/bill online the owner of the car.
Even being part of that grid might speed up/solve traffic problems if it was controlled by a computer guidance while you are on it - people travelling at a much more uniform and faster pace than relying on individual driving habits, speeds, distractions, etc.
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You're an interesting guy, Jeremiah.
Your first post was sort of high and mighty, or what you might declare as nothing more than 'opinionated'. You lamented that Fowler not only failed to be a civil host/human being, but also let your class of self-declared proud elitists down, because he is apparently not as aware an ecologist as your class expects. How you determined that, and how he showed lacked of awareness of the points you listed is beyond me. Be that as it may, your new post mostly states the obvious, other than a bibliography for people who need a lot of evidence for the basic cycle of life and lifestyles.
All those books are for people who think and talk a lot, but do very little about anything. Running away from America was your solution for protesting the Iraq war, based on your initial post. America adapts and innovates better than you imagine. The consumerist mentality of America is one the developing countries are aping now, and they are more of a threat to the environment, because of their immense populations. America has reinvented itself almost every decade. After every crisis, it has become stronger. The think tank that innovates and develops is alive and well. The anthropologists can analyze past patterns and theorize that it predicts something specific in the future, but they are just theories. They have no way of predicting the parameters that will apply in the future, because many of the parameters are ideas that are yet to be born.
Be safe in your bunker.
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"I do have access to the mind numbing drool called American TV, which I do hold as an occasional guilty pleasure"
Meanwhile, most Americans do NOT watch that drivel, so where does your smug attitude find any basis? I do not watch it, and only became aware of it due to the news. YOU are a fan... one of inane types who get a "guilty pleasure" from watching such garbage.
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does jeremiah sound like fowler, to anyone else, besides me? i haven't read any of the comments, to his comment yet, but hopefully i'm not the only one picking this up?
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I think IT IS FOUL_ER....Sanctimonus A** H***. If not F*** Him Too !
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Thanks for the lecture A** ****. Glad u r gone. Good riddance. Don't contact us again. When we need a KNOW IT ALL, we well call....Promise!
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Thanks for the lecture A** ****. Glad u r gone. Good riddance. Don't contact us again. When we need a KNOW IT ALL, we well call....Promise!
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I wrote this letter. I was not trying to sound "educated" with my long (I admit it) sentences. It really is how I write. Promise!
I used the British spelling as a poke at Fowler. I've encountered pompous Britishers before who sneer at our 'Yankee bastardization' of the English language. I am indeed American born though.
I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone here. This guy really did offend me.
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Sorry, dude. My bad.
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I think it's an awesome letter.
I just wanted to comment on the following statement you made:
"I do not forgive you your horrendous behavior or your equally sickening morality".
I think the only person who can forgive him for his behavior is Gayla and her husband.
The 'equally sickening morality' - that's even more confusing when it comes to forgiveness.
Also, when asking him to become a student of humanity, I would be open to his efforts to reform himself and forgive him if he apologized, if the offensive behavior had been directed at me.
Just some thoughts. Not criticism.
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"I think the only person who can forgive him for his behavior is Gayla and her husband." Fowler definitely owes Gayla a heartfelt apology. But he also owes the rest of us an apology as well. He offended each and every one of us with his deliberate remarks. He won't be off the hook until he squares his debt with all of us.
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Please note that I am only talking about his behavior. For his words and insults to a whole slew of people, yes, he owes them an apology, as also to all the offended viewers. IMHO
He has written an apology letter that was on Renee's website (Renee had posted it saying that he wrote it, and I believe it's true). It was ok.
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I agree, absolutely. He definitely owes the Longs a sincere apology. I don't believe that Stephen wrote that letter. For one thing, I don't think his ego would allow him to stoop to it. For another thing, that letter wasn't written in the British vernacular. It wasn't written the way he speaks at all. It seems more like his wife wrote it hopeing to save her business, thinking we'd be gullible enough to fall for it. I'll believe it comes from him when I see it coming from his own lips.
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Fot ''the author'':I Just feel the need to let you know I appreciate your subtle irony as well as your style in this letter.Btw,since when is a crime to use long sentences
Now really,we are not here to start a new topic about style...Glad to see your lines made a post on this site,´cause I enjoyed reading it
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hi. I'm selling stephen fowler 100% douche bag decal stickers. you can find me on ebay under metals.brew or type in stephen fowler 100% douche bag.
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I must say I really like the tone and the way the author of this letter use to punctuate her/his opinion,don´t see why people get so focalised in spelling.Happy to see the one who initiate this site considered good enough to make a post
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Sir Fowler...
If you and your Oxford/Cambridge/London School of Economics ilk/pedigree are so intelligent....
THEN WHY IS THE UK FINANCIALLY BANKRUPT?
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He didn't go to Oxford. I don't know where he did his undergrad, but I'm pretty sure he didn't do it at Cambridge. He holds a M.Phil from Cambridge, which is like a Master's. His vita doesn't list his undergrad school-- maybe he is ashamed of it. He didn't go to the London school of Economics, he went to London Business College, which I am pretty sure is NOT the same thing. His "scholarly" pedigree is simply not first rate by any means. I'm pretty sure he's basing his estimated IQ off of some GRE to IQ conversion table. He might be interested to know that his GRE score, taken after the year 2000, I presume, is not considered valid by those 99.9 percentile societies out there. In sum, the man is a poseur, trying to redeem himself through his kids who he insists are bound for the ivies. He reminds me of this woman I used to know who always used to cite herself as a Harvard graduate because she got an MBA there--- sorry, but it's not the same as being a dyed in the wool Harvard grad and undergrad, just like having an M.Phil doesn't make Stevie boy a bona fide, Oxbrdige scholar. He also reminds me of this lamo I knew who would actually go around our department shoving his cv in our faces-- he actually printed it out and distributed copies to us. People who go around boasting about their academic "accomplishments" usually have some deep-seated feelings of intellectual inferiority.
The man doth protest too much.
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He, he, check this site out-- Stephen laDouche is prolly basing his vaunted IQ off of this crap. Also, look at some of these high IQ societies-- what is the point of having these things...?
http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/criteria.aspx#
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Has anyone taken the time to look into Renee's advanced degree?
I really admire Stephen's ability to talk down to people without advanced education, especially because I doubt Renee's life coach certification counts as advanced education. Yes, with the click of a advertisement on the side of a website, you too can pay $1400 and become a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
www.nlpca.com/NLP_Master_Practitioner_Certifi.html
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He's like the male version of Anne Coulter.
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Dear Stevie-boy, Nitwit Milf, Thing 1, and Thing 2,
Hah hah! You are so not done yet. I know you're dying to know when this is going to blow over. Let me tell you: no time soon. Long after this becomes yesterday's news on the Net, it's still going to be the central obstacle in your lives. 90% of the world can forget about this, but how long do you think it'll be before you're free from the mess you've made.
Stevie, I just hope your kids are giving YOU the silent treatment now. So many of us are waiting to hear how you crash and burn. Go ahead and tell yourself that this is somehow about George Bush or carbon footprints or McDonald's something. Your own mouth screwed you, no one else.
Nit-wit Milf, I must admit I have mixed feelings toward you. Even as I stifle the urge to vomit over your two pathetic attempts at contrition, something in me admires your stand-by-your-man character (sorry if Tammy Wynette is a little too pedestrian for you). Still, I have lived all over the world (including Central California, the American "deep south," Europe, East Asia, et al.), traveled even more extensively, and attained "advanced degrees," as you say; and let me tell you, little disgusts me more than the self-hating American. Even though I'm a filthy yank myself, I'm not a flag-waver. It's just not my style, but I know you so well. You're a stereotype, a cartoon. I can scarcely suffer one more repeat of your tired, old sermon about how all persons are equal and all cultures are too (except your own hated America); oh, and the CIA invented AIDS and crack and gangs to murder queers and negroes, right? Terrorism was incited by the US to generate a pretext for a new Crusade. Islam is a religion of peace, but Christianity is "dangerous." Yes, I know you. That's why my sympathy for you remains as half-hearted as your apologies.
So, just so you know, get used to the rotten to-mahh-toes being thrown at you now, Stevie. You're going to stink of them for years to come, I promise you. Years. Hahahah.
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...You think she's a MILF?
So not.
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Who cares what your education level, BMI, concern for the environment is, etc. --even if you want to say it to let Stephen know his generalization is somehow wrong (although you're only one person).
Sure, generalizing the midwest was wrong, but MUCH worse to me is that he finds the concept of what an average westerner might be disgusting.
I'm not saying one should get a gold medal if s/he is overweight but it doesn't make you any less worthy of a person and doesn't necessarily reflect your character.
And being less educated is not shameful, especially if you can support yourself, and doesn't have a direct correlation to your character either.
And as for environmentalism, if you are a stereotypical mid-westerner you live much more simply than rich ppl do anyway.
If you are trying to make ends meet and you are trying to take more care of your family's needs than the environment's needs I don't see the crime in that.
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Fowler perfectly exemplifies the man who is educated far beyond his intelligence. The Longs, in their restraint and compassion, illustrate how often intelligence/common sense and formal education don't necessarily go hand in hand. A man like Stephen Fowler will never be able to grasp the ways in which his 'inferiors' are light years beyond him on the evolutionary scale. Whereas the Longs know how to give of themselves and function among society, Fowler is just another petty little tyrant with fixed ideas and an overabundance of misapplied learning. He is the poster child for the old saying 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'.
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I live in San Francisco. This guy Fowler is hardly representative of the type of people who live here. I moved here from a very small town in Tennessee. I knew people in TN who were like Fowler, only they were mostly white, narrow minded bigots--a different kind of elitist. And they would boot that pencil neck geek out of this country quicker than he could say "Podunk Redneck".
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well stated.
that is, i agree,
all that higher education has become just "information" in this case.
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I don't think I could have said better myself.
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Open letter to the Fowler Family: I have seen only clips of the show you participated in. There is a very important lesson you both have never learned. CLASS is making others feel comfortable around you and being a gracious host to anyone in your home. I feel great sympathy for your children that this is the environment they are subjected to. You can also tell from the clips that you are not nearly as financially successful as you would have others believe. Those with true wealth will never make those without it feel uncomfortable. You probably have no idea what real wealth is and think that you have it. I am not as angry as others I have seen here because I pity you. You are a sad man with a very limited view of the world, though you see yourself as cultured. Perhaps you should return to the UK, the USA may not the proper place for a person with your viewpoints.
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You know, he probably wasn't very comfortable in the UK either. I am an american who's worked in Europe (including UK) and they have some similar problems with douchbaggery. For example, the north of England has been more poor than the south for some time now, with less opportunity, and they have some very distinct "northern" accents up there. I've met quite a few "posh" people in London trying to demean those from the north to the disdain of the other brits. It's not a UK vs USA thing.
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Amen to your comments. As time marches on I can only hope that this man, Steven Fowler, is humbled in some way so that he can understand humanity. I also wonder what happened in his life to make him so insecure that he feels he has to denigrate others to make himself feel better. I also wonder how he can, supposedly, care about the environment by not about another human being.
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Unfortunately Stephen Folwer's attitude is very much the norm here in the SF Bay Area. I moved here 25 yrs ago from the Midwest and was appalled at how these folks felt about the rest of the country. Fowler is not the only one here who feels he knows how we all should live and think. A few yrs ago I started gaining weight, really couldn't figure it out because I had not changed anything. Several friends told me to join a gym and hire a trainer, which I did, but I continued to put on weight. Finally, my trainer told me to get a thyroid test and sure enough my thyroid had slowed to a crawl, genetic problem in my case. I can't tell you how many of my so called friends out here started treating me differently because I had gained some weight, they were embarassed to be seen with me. Even though the meds eventually reversed my weight I have never been able to look at these "friends" in the same way again. However, my Midwestern friends could not have been nicer, they listened, they offered support and they continued to love me despite the change in my appearance. This situation brought me back to what is important in life and my husband and I plan to leave CA in 3 yrs when he retires. Guess where we are going? That's right, back home to the Midwest. Can/t wait.
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Hello,
I don't watch much TV so I am new to this issue (I saw it in the Chronicle). Mr. Fowler is a NUT CASE. He does not represent San Francisco. He is not even from San Francisco, he is a transplant from London.
I am from San Francisco. I hate that this all is reflecting poorIy on San Francisco. I am proud to be from here and an American. Shoot, I live in a nicer house in a better neighborhood than Noe Valley. I have a doctorate degree and I recycle. I also respect the military and I would never treat the Longs the way he did. Gayla, you can come teach my kids paintball and take them on go-karts anytime you want.
The Fowler family are wannabes. French Ameican School is not at all difficult to get into. Fowler's insecurity is so blatant.
The Fowlers are proud that their children have been to several countries but they can't teach them to respect differences in our own county?
He missed such an great opportunity to talk positively about renewable energy on National TV. What an idiot he is! But he is NOT San Francisco.
Annie
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Ok, The guy is a jerk but, are you people happy that this man and his family, have had there lives threatened?
Are you moralist sitting in judgment of another human so that you can look like a good guy?
Of course! Well, you had your little lynching party. Time to have a sense of humanity and let it go.
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HI Jack,
I think people are outraged and have every right to comment and discuss. But threats are way out of line. Why do you care so much if people want to flame him? He agreed to be on a silly TV show and treated her horrible.
Annie
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I am not threatening thEIr lives, nor and I sitting in judgment of him. I am, however, wondering how someone could become the person that he is. Only a insecure person would belittle someone else to make himself look better...You should be happy that he did not succeed.
Even his last comment on the program in which he says that he's adding a last insult is a huge insult to human beings every where.
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Fuzzy thinking Jackie boy. You are being the Moralist and pontificating.
Renee.....is that you ?
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Fuzzy thinking Jackie boy. You are being the Moralist and pontificating.
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my guess is "wife swap" will feature more objectionable characters in the near future. the guy's an ass, for sure, but it's great t.v.
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I am so glad I was not the only one who was offended by this moron. I thought i was being overly sensative, its nice seeing others think he is a jerk!
Personally I think if he hates this country so much he should GO HOME Go back to where he came from and not be bothered by us ignorant Americans.
So Go home Mr. Fowler, and on the way out, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
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"Jack Johnson" a/k/a Mr.Fowler,
It is "their" not "there" and I am
a mere,lowly high school graduate from
a small town in America's grain belt.
Fowler managed to insult and degrade
a decent woman on national TV. He can't
expect this furor to die down right
away.
The poor man probably has no job and
no volunteer work to do these days so
he sits and reads these boards over and
over.
Go out and work in a soup kitchen
Steve,you will feel better and maybe
begin to redeem yourself.
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Leigh Ann - The reason I'm pissed off is because there is an elitist segment of society that Dismisses Outright the humanity and the feelings of the majority of Americans. With a smug and condescending smirk!!!!! Remember Louis the XVI ? He thought he was the cat's pajamas too. Stephen the smug said he came here to "Help Direct" our opinions (Words to that affect). We get this crappy attitude stuffed down our throats every day. The MIDDLE CLASS IS STIRRING.
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He might as well move because the upswell has just begun
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I too have a share a similar experience with the above commentator. I have a M.S.ED and am currently working on my PHD. My family is considered well-off, yet I was raised to never speak of money or culture to others. At finishing school I clearly remember being taught that how a person acts reflects one's station in life. This I believe was reinforced at home. Yes, we may have dressed for dinner, yet I recall my father also enjoying fishing and probably would have enjoyed paint ball. I believe that Mr. Fowler is a fraud. I too watched the video via "youtube", as I saw the headlines on Yahoo. I am from upstate NY which some consider rural though not as Missouri. I am appalled at the representations of the Fowlers and this had to be a ratings ploy, as no one is that arrogant yet ignorant. For one,he kept saying he placed in the 99th percentile for taking the GRE. This comprises a simple placement test for grad school, and is a dead giveaway for his so called advanced degree. If he only took the GRE in 2004, he (if he truely has) only recently acquired an advanced degree, and I am curious as to what it is. Second, his wife's so-called certificates is her specialty areas, indicating non-completion of college study as no degree was awarded. Also what she says are her areas of expertise are essentially non-degree mail order/online bogus courses; although she was much more couth than he. Last, if they were "professionals" why treat the children in such a shoddy manner, and teach them to be ill-mannered. They may not approve of paint balling, and I certainly agree with healthy eating, yet there was no interaction with the children and their behavior of not speaking to a guest was unexcusable. Also, as a linquist, I detected a wee bit of cockney in his dialect ( indicating a very low-clas upbringing) which he was trying very hard to cover. Yes people, we've been had either by the Fowlers or the programmer for a ratings ploy. If this gentleman is who he said he was, he is misrepresenting himself to the world and his spouse. The only true gentlemen in this mess was the Missouri husband(sorry forgot his name), as he tried to accept change and wanted to help his children, yet showed his love for them by enjoying their company. I give him credit for not belting the Fowler man. The saddest part for me was the lack of repect for the Fowler children. French? Why not Latin, Spanish, or Mandarin where real opportinity lies. These poor children don't have any fun.
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Great insight and post. I do not watch this show but have been home sick and saw an article on SFGate.com and subsequently watched the YouTube videos...Wow, I do not believe that it would take someone with a 99th percentile GRE to suss out -british for figure out! - the fact that this guy is majorly insecure...And that he missed out on a huge opportunity to learn from someone else...
To me, all of his bragging about health is negated by his rigidity and inability to recognize and celebrate differences...Not to mention the fact that the show is geared toward learning from the visitor. It seems that his main goal was to maintain his environment exactly as it was before this potentially wonderful and life enhancing experience. Only he knows the reason that he did 'not get with the program'. It is very obvious that the Long family in MO got with the program and learned, enjoyed and took something away from this experience. I only hope that Gayla did not come away from this thinking that all San Franciscans or big city folks are like this.
And yes, as many other posters mentioned, he certainly did not embody or teach his children anything about being a good host.
So it seems to me that the losers here, by virtue of their own world view, lack of maturity and compassion while dealing with different cultures, is those well heeled, culturally enriched and well fed, environmentally conscious Fowlers...
Bravo to the Longs, great citizens of the world, who can hear, listen and incorporate new ideas into their lives.
.
Again, I am so sorry that Gayla experienced someone who should live behind bars...In a gated community where he could probably control things a bit more to his liking!
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Great insight and post. I do not watch this show but have been home sick and saw an article on SFGate.com and subsequently watched the YouTube videos...Wow, I do not believe that it would take someone with a 99th percentile GRE to suss out -british for figure out! - the fact that this guy is majorly insecure...And that he missed out on a huge opportunity to learn from someone else...
To me, all of his bragging about health is negated by his rigidity and inability to recognize and celebrate differences...Not to mention the fact that the show is geared toward learning from the visitor. It seems that his main goal was to maintain his environment exactly as it was before this potentially wonderful and life enhancing experience. Only he knows the reason that he did 'not get with the program'. It is very obvious that the Long family in MO got with the program and learned, enjoyed and took something away from this experience. I only hope that Gayla did not come away from this thinking that all San Franciscans or big city folks are like this.
And yes, as many other posters mentioned, he certainly did not embody or teach his children anything about being a good host.
So it seems to me that the losers here, by virtue of their own world view, lack of maturity and compassion while dealing with different cultures, is those well heeled, culturally enriched and well fed, environmentally conscious Fowlers...
Bravo to the Longs, great citizens of the world, who can hear, listen and incorporate new ideas into their lives.
.
Again, I am so sorry that Gayla experienced someone who should live behind bars...In a gated community where he could probably control things a bit more to his liking!
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Nice job. Did anyone suggest to him to go back to Britain?
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Stephen, you pompous ass, you are getting just what you deserve. Short & Sweet.
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I am in complete agreeance with this letter. One thing I might add is, take your arrogant ass back to England where people thrive on hate and maliciousness.
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I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've said. A Yahoo headline caught my eye or I'd have never heard about this Fowler fellow. Curious, I watched the video of the show and was mortified by what I saw.
Simple and to the point, everything about this couple screamed phony to me. His "set"? How laughable. What "set" is that, exactly? The phony bourgeois? The tragically in debt in an attempt to portray wealth set perhaps?
Perhaps someone should have explained to "Sir Stephen" that the truly wealthy would consider it "tacky" beyond belief to quote the price of everything they own,do,eat, or wear. Quality, taste and style tend to speak for themselves.
Generally, when you see someone trying SOOO hard to portray "wealth" and "class", it usually belies humble beginnings or a financially flawed past that (for whatever reason)they feel ashamed of. The continuous pointing to possessions while quoting price tags seems an attempt on their part to conceal their insecurities about who they "truly" are. Constantly belittling others with taunts of being "uneducated" also reveals a deep insecurity regarding one's own supposed "education". In other words, Mr. Fowler doth protest too much. In so doing, he gives himself away as a charlatan and classless dolt.
This was my biggest problem with this Fowler character. IF he were as "educated" as he claims, he'd have been keenly aware of how many brilliant, influential people have come from humble beginnings. It is not always money but manners that reveal true breeding. This charlatan revealed himself when he went beyond all decency with their guest Gayla, who showed far more class than he in my opinion. Brava Gayla.
Our sister married a fellow just like this Fowler. I'd wager that Fowler's wife was the one with money while he brought only a big head, a fondness for shopping and aspirations of wealth to the marriage. I took note that he described himself as an entrepreneur. This alone made me doubtful of his supposed "education". Generally someone as educated as he "claims" has some other title attached to their name--microbiologist, architectural engineer, whatever... but "entrepreneur"? That usually means a layabout failure spending his wife's money.
Perhaps his wife has fallen in with his pretentiousness regarding education. While he is an "entrepreneur", she carries the lofty title of "life coach"? Hmm. Hardly Harvard.
His children being forced to witness his horrendous behavior is an abuse of their innocence, pure and simple. Not only does he mistreat their guest Gayla, but encourages these innocent children to do the same. Is his hope that they will be as socially retarded as he?
I'm glad he chose to appear on this show. While he may have a few fellow phonies rushing to his defense, all in all he has revealed himself and his true character to those that matter. I doubt his entrepreneurial status is worth much these days.
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A+ SIR. Love it.
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Very well said. I absolutely agree with you 100% as I too was horrified by this creatures behavior.
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BRAVO!!!!
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A Men!
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Thank you - very well said.
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Most people are bright enough to understand that education and intelligence are quite often totally unrelated. Currently, I live in the Republic of Panama, in an area where there are no roads for over 13 miles, we make our own electricity and catch and purify our own water. That said, one of my close friends in this tiny community has a second grade education and is the example of how a gentleman treats others. Meanwhile, I live near a pair of PhD's that do nothing that is not in their direct personal interest. My ill-educated friend has never heard of a latte and lives in a shack. Yet he is color blind and will give the shirt off of his back to a complete stranger if that person needs a shirt more than he. Meanwhile, I suspect that this "horrible hubby" will never know what a gentle person is much less ever possibly become one.
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Mr Fowler:
I recently came across a yahoo board with your story on it. Like so many here, I went to youtube and watched said episode out of morbid curiosity (could it be anything BUT morbid, hearing about your behavior and wanting to see for myself?)
I cannot began to describe how I felt when I watched your performance on wife swap. Gayla came into your house as a guest. Her views were much different than yours but that did not make you better than her. She treated you with respect until you turned around and shoved her face in the mud (metaphorically although I've no doubt you'd have done it physically if you could). Yet both she and her husband, those "podunk rednecks" from Missouri, showed more class than ever you could. They, for as little education as they had, were open-minded enough to take on new experiences whereas you, you ignorant little twerp, couldn't manage to even show basic hospitality. They took your abuse with their heads held up. Your wife, on the other hand, couldn't even look the two of them in the face upon hearing about your actions much less raise her head up.
I can't help but make a comparison between you and I.
I am 28. I'm overweight and have been since I was a kid even though I've done everything I know how to get it off.
I'm a single mom. I work as a nursing assistant and am putting myself through school to be a nurse. One day, I hope to earn enough money to buy a television, a car and possibly live in a house. I'll be happy then, because I will have to depend on no one but myself.
By your standards. I am low class, obese and probably ignorant since my current highest completed level of education is high school. Yes, my money situation makes it so sometimes I can't afford to live off of anything but top ramen. Yes, I sleep on a futon and eat dinner at a card table. Yes, I take the city bus to school and buy all of our clothes at the second hand store.
Here's the funny part though. People pity me because I don't have much. And I hate it because I am happy where I am right now. I'm poor, but I am happy.
You are "elite" (that is the term I hear most for your kind). You have lots of money and your children go to the best schools. You probably get every single thing that you want and never have to worry about food or clothing or any of the other basics. That much is obvious.
But I would not trade places with you for anything in the world, even before your appearance on this show. I don't have much, but I have more than you. Among the things I have are morals, compassion, grace, love, dignity, respect and chivalry, just to name a few. From what I have seen of you, you don't even know what these things mean.
Between the two of us, sir, I would gladly take my poor, fat, ignorant, lonely life over your high bred one. I, at least, am human. You are a monster.
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Thank you so much for writing this. I hope he reads it and takes a good long look at himself.
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I will very brief this guys is a total jerk and any american person that does bussiness with this guy should really think about his patriotism to our great nation please think before putting money in this guys pocket
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This guy is my hero!
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This Person, S. Fowler is a mean, cruel, pathetic man. To purposely degrade and belittle another human being that has done nothing to him is the sickest form of abuse that can be inflicted. There is no excusing this behavior. He not only offends the woman but he projects his bigoted evil ways to his children. In my book, that is child abuse. He demonstrates himself to be a cold, unfeeling, pathetic, small minded coward. A bigoted and ignorant rectum. His father should have used a condom. The world would have been a much better place had he never been born.
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I may not be as smart as a lot of people my age of 44 but i can tell you that what Mr. fowler did and what i saw was him making ass of him self. I am a Cherokee Indian and if i did that to a woman of my wife my tribe would kill me that is Indian law the old way. Mr fowler now all the world knows what a stuck up jackass you are and you give a bad name to your kind
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When will Americans realize this Fowler clown is TYPICAL OF BRITISH PEOPLE! And I speak from experience..as an american living in europe for the past ten years, i can tell you they are the most foul-mouthed, snobby, aggressive, rude, disgusting people on the continent. Forget Prince Charles and his ilk...it is the boorish behavior of people like fowler that is predominant of these people! Therefore I am not surprised at all by his typical british behavior!
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I've gotta admit, I'm loving reading these comments. Way to get upset about reality TV! All those so-called PHDs who've tried to chastise the guy academically, should, with their big brains, know this! The TV execs have gotta be lovin' this and their ratings, way to get sucked in. Be happy
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Fowler is a terrible father first and a terrible husband second. He is disgusting and should be shown the door.
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You ask how can this twat act as he does?
Answer:
he's a Pom, a sort of blood sucking pest that the Americans kicked into the Atlantic ocean during the revolution.
lol
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All the therapy in the world could not help this man, though the best therapists in the world would become multimillionaires with him as their only client! That said, the pompous Brit doesn't know he has serious problems and issues, would never admit he had them and obviously would never seek help as he thinks he is above all humanity..he may be right, I don't consider the jerk human.
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I fully agree with Average American, although there are some other things on which I would like to comment.
I watched the show that night with a growing disdain, not for Mr. Fowler as a person (I can choose not to ever associate with him, his business or companies), but for the legacy he is leaving his children and the people who are all part of the fabric of his life.
Not only does he insult the country from which he now makes an extremely good living, he insults the people who provide his food and other services from the center of the heartland. All this while teaching his children the same.
If this country is so appalling, and the people are so uneducated then go home to your mother country or better yet answer the question as to why you left it in the first place.
My other concern is that you have no compassion for anyone who is, overweight, handicapped, poor or elderly, etc. Basically that is everyone who is not exactly like you. Wake up and smell the coffee, in the blink of an eye, you could be rendered incapacitated, and dependent on others for your care as it happens to many people every day. There is also the given that you WILL GET OLD, you can't stop that process. Let's see how you feel when people make fun of you then!
But the worst part of the program was not about you it was about your wife. After showing some compassion and trying to help the other family with their activities and weight issues she seemed to be making some progress and they were all starting to get along. That was fine until the ending segment when you all came to the table, and after the continual comments about her occupation as a life coach and her ability to encourage and be compassionate, she sat dutifully by your side while you were so uncompassionate. She is also your puppet and has no real backbone to stand on her own two feet. She has sent the woman's movement back 40 years by showing how sub-servient she is to you. What a really poor example, especially for your daughter.
You are a prime example of what I call the permanent student, over educated class who hide their heads in the sand and don't know what happens in the real world. Take your head out of the sand and look around you, you might actually like something.
This was written by an college educated, licensed professional woman and business owner.
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Well stated! That Fowler was like a spoiled child wasn't he. I have never seen such bad behavior from an adult. He obviously has a huge chip on his shoulder, in addition to his other problems. We should feel sorry though for his children and his wife. Can you imagine living with a man that? I cannot imagine that his business is doing well either, I wouldn't do business with him. He displayed such poor judgment on that show, it would make me question his ability.
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Amen Sister! I am too a Missourian and find the likes of an idiot like Fowler to be nothing like I've ever seen! I really think he's from France, but is hiding from it in fear. WHAT A FREAKING LOSER! I hope your wife see's you for what you are. If not, you have brainwashed her as well, then you deserve each other. Go back under your rock and live in another country, loser!
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I cannot believe that you degrade another human being to the extent which you have done. Your wife is nothing but a pompas ass and your kids are suffering for it you two should never have been allowed to procreate, your wife should be ashamed to simply have children as a status symbol, do you even lover them? Seriously you think you are some kind of educated man, you cut people down to make yourself feel better anyone that is truly that smart sir would not humiliate someone else, you probably sit home and read Patricia Cornwell novels with your wife, oh yes I went there, and go ahead and call me dumb, I speak two languages fluently and I have an intelligence quotient of 127. So really go ahead little man little pathetic man with your pathetic life get over yourself already. The world would be better off without you and your pathetic wife who's seems like the only thing she isn't certified in is being a snobby unpatriotic ungrateful bitch and she should be made to see the horrors our soldiers face in battle.
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I am a mid westerner and all I can say is Mr. Fowler is an a-hole. Maybe he should go back to England if he has such a bad opinion.
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You know, for a person who says they are so well educated, one would think that you would know it's not proper to start almost every sentence with "I". You suck.
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You have put into words my thoughts exactly. Very good !! Thank you.
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Mr Fowler...many thanks for giving us a history lesson on why the Colonies kicked England's butt back in 1776. By the way, my uncle was wounded on D-Day fighting to make sure YOUR country didn't go the way of France. Funn, he never went to college and grew up in the coal mining area around Pittsburgh. Not your kind of people..I guess
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I was born and bred in Missouri, have two degrees AND now live in the UK. I think Stephen Fowler is a pretty wretched individual but at the same time I don't think we should describe him as "typically British". There are all kinds here, just like in the US. He is just a despicable, closed minded and sad character....just like many other types from San Francisco that I have met in my life ...
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I just finished watching the episode and honestly , I'm shocked and outraged at his behavior ( as it seems most everyone is !) Then to say it was editing ? Well Stephen, If you never said it in the first place they wouldn't have anything to work with. Just HOW stupid does he think we all are...Oh , wait...he already made that clear didn't he?
Then to read his so called apology....laughable...let's see..
"I was taken aback at the response my behavior generated".... REALLY STEPHEN ? You had NO idea being a horrid person would cause a response ?
"I'm not doing this to try and redeem myself" ....LIAR
"Rather I'm trying to undo some of the hurt that people have obviously felt as a result of my comments"..... What I really mean is while people have felt hurt "I" still feel nothing ,but want to try and save face.
"Some of my remarks obviously made me appear unpatriotic"....YA THINK ?
"Well that was just dumb"...Yeah , that's the first smart thing you have said...you were very , very dumb.
"I can't think of anywhere I'd rather live" ...We can tell you MANY places you can go
" Some of my best friends are Midwesterners"...Hummm, That sounds like am old line I'm sure we've heard before.
"I regret that my remarks made me come across as a person who disrespects overweight people"...Disrespects? you meant to say DETEST , right?
" Please don't judge Renee by my actions"...Mama always said , "you are the company you keep."
"These are my words" ...Yeah , so were ALL the others ,asshole.
While I do believe he wrote this lame apology , What I have hard time believing (or understanding) is his wife letting their children be subjected to his behavior day after day. But I guess her behavior isn't much better ,it just appears better in comparison to his. Well, since neither one spend much time with the kids anyway hopefully they have a shot of growing into good,loving,and respectable human beings...unlike their parents.
Stephen you were and always will be an ass , but I'm sure you can think of a more educated word for ass , so feel free to use it.
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This man has made me feel ashamed to be British for the first time in my life if this is how I am being represented by what can only be dscribed as a cunt.
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First let me say, I don't watch this show as a rule. I saw this appalling article in the Kansas City Star 02/2/09. I've lived in Kansas City 25 years; coming from the San Francisco Bay Area where I was born and raised. Let me tell you, I'm embarrassed that Stephen Fowler lives in California, much less San Francisco. He and his wife and children should pack their bags and head back to his country if they dislike America so much. His wife made horrible remarks about this country and no one's saying a word about her. She made horrible remarks about Mrs. Long's family and city as well. Stephen, on the other hand, deserves all he's getting in backlash on this, and more. He's the uneducated, backward idiot that he showed all of us on that show. For him to teach his children, on camera, how to treat a guest in his house as well as a person from another state, is appalling. His children WILL grow to think this is the way of the world. You can see the resentment from both of the children regarding their not being allowed to be children. Stephen doesn't know what it's like to be a good human, neighbor, citizen (of which I'm sure he's not a U.S. Citizen but only a citizen of SF), husband, son, brother, or father. What a disgusting scene it was and it just makes me so angry. I love Kansas City (Randolph is a very close burb), Missouri, and the Mid West for their hospitality, friendliness, and easy living. Stephen, you idiot, you profess to be so much more intelligent then anyone and yet you know nothing about this part of the country. H & R Bloch! Kansas City based and the Bloch's LIVE HERE! Hallmark Cards! World Headquarters and the family lives here! Kauffman family and head of what was Marion-Merrill Dow, one of the huge R&D for pharmaceuticals..HERE!! In Kansas City!! SPRINT! World Headquarters! Here in Kansas City!. Walt Disney! Yes, THE Walt Disney's first studio, here in Kansas City. I don't need to sell my city to you because none of us want you to step foot off a plane at Kansas City International Airport. Or maybe you should. Maybe you should come here to see just how wonderful this part of the country is. You're the biggest jerk of the month. Your children are paying the price daily when they go to school. Your children won't forget this...ever. This will be etched in their heads and heart, forever as the time their father showed his ASS on national TV. The U.S. needs less of you. Don't like it here Mr. and Mrs. Fowler? Get out.
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OK I'm not all that educated so I'll keep this simple, why don't you just go home to merry olé England. We won't miss you, I promise. You loath us and we'll make it without you. Let's just part company. You & your wife and us, America. Let's just split. P.S. The U.S. military actually afforded me the opportunity to travel and see the world.
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Mr Fowler,
Why are you in the U.S. It seems to me, if you dislike Americans, you would move back to wherever you came from. You see, the wonderful thing about the U.S. is that it is DIVERSE.
I am very happy that I have met people from Great Britain,and none of them are like you. It is refreshing to know that when God made you, he broke the mold. You sir, are one of a kind. Thank God!
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Beautifully written and well said. I would like to add that not everyone who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area thinks the way this ass hat does. It was appalling behavior and it's shameful. I'm sorry to be represented by someone like that.
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Thank you for this letter. I, too, am a Midwesterner. I grew up in Illinois and I now live in Iowa, Missouri's neighbor to the north. I also have a BA as well as two Master's degrees. Stephen Fowler's behavior was disgusting, and not only insulting to Midwesterners, but also insulting to other Brits. His snooty, bigoted behavior left me speechless. I am somewhat satisfied that he posted an apology on his wife's website, but I think he needs to visit the midwest and live here for awhile so he can truly understand the people he so thoughtlessly insulted.
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